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Restoring Self-Esteem

Restoring self-esteem

In order to successfully move on after a divorce most people have to accept it’s okay not to be married anymore. Everyone handles things in different ways and at different paces so it might take longer for some and less time for others, either way it’s hard work for almost everyone. The shock of divorce can have a devastating effect on your self confidence.

So…what can you do to help yourself?

You need to learn to focus on what you do have, rather than what you don’t have, and appreciate every single positive thing in your life. When you actually take the time to stop and really think about positive things you’ll be amazed at how rich your life really is. But it is a learned mindset for some, and today is when the learning curve begins.

Bad stuff happens! That’s just the nature of life. Okay, so your marriage didn’t work, it’s not necessarily your fault, it’s probably not anyone’s fault. Some things simply don’t work out. The simple truth is we invest so much emotion in marriage that when the dream shatters we want to blame something or somebody for the breakdown, when often the fact is there is no one thing to blame.

Banish negativity

In order to restore your self-esteem after a divorce you need to banish any negative thoughts. Try not to think about the past and learn to focus on the future. If you begin to doubt yourself quickly replace the thought with something positive about yourself, something that you like about yourself, and keep telling yourself that you’re okay and everything will be okay. It does take practice, but eventually when you use positive words to describe yourself like smart, attractive, confident and so on, you will begin to believe it. The image you have of yourself really does affects your entire life so make sure it’s a good and positive one.

Don’t become a hermit
Lastly, be very aware of unwittingly isolating yourself, it’s so easy to do and so very unhealthy. In times of need your closest friends are more important than ever before, and they won’t let you down. True friends will staunchly prop up your self-esteem until you’re ready to hold your own again. They will help you through the divorce as well as many, many other things. The comfort and support your family and friends provide will give you the courage to move on and live your life in a way that makes you happy.