“You may not get the house.”
For some, this short, but powerful, statement can stir in you the biggest emotional upheaval of the entire divorce process. The reality is, neither of you may end up with the house, so you’ll need to learn how to move on and set up a new home for yourself. If this happens to you, you’ll find yourself faced with many options. An apartment, a condo, a rented cottage or perhaps the purchase of a new home could be in your future.
You must be sure of exactly what you want when it comes to your divorce and the family home. You may want the house and you may get it, but then you realize you can’t afford the place by yourself. You may end up single, with children, and no income or little income. It can be hard for you, and as much as you might not want to, you may have sell the marital home and purchase a home more suited to your needs as a single parent or single person.
If divorce and moving home become an unavoidable combination, with your share of the proceeds from the marital home you often have the means to invest in a smaller place. You may want to think about saying within the same area, which can be important if you have children’s schooling etc to consider.
Housing downgrade and children
Occasionally with an obvious downgrade, your children may feel like they’ve lost a big part of their security, but if you make an effort to include them in housing decisions, listen to their opinions and ask them to give the move a fair chance, they may surprise you with their ability to adapt. This the outcome you really need to focus on…if your children feel settled and happy your long term sense of security and contentment will automatically align with their feelings.
Going with the familiar, or embracing change?
There is a school of thought that assures us the first step after a divorce and moving home is to try to make everything seem a little familiar. The children will appreciate your efforts as you strive to match the color of their previous rooms and try to make their rooms similar to the original. This way the kids will feel they have a safe haven once again.
The second theory is that if the kids are open to the divorce and are okay with moving from the family home, then you may want to give them the opportunity to change and completely re-decorate their room.
Good communication with your children is the only way to decide which way to go. Listen carefully to what your children are saying and usually they’ll let you know what they need at this very emotional time in their lives.
Do it your way
As for the rest of the house…you can decorate it any way your heart desires! If your children are older you might like to include them in the decorating process, but never forget, ultimately it’s your home, and you should decorate it in a way that makes you happy.